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Next, I am also in the news, no.. I was not arrested. I am just mostly standing around but I am front page news and on TV. Yay.
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/search/cont
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/conten
http://www.wptv.com/content/democracy200
- Location:Boca, in-laws house
- Music:none
I got in to Boca yestarday morning at 5:30am after getting off of work at 2:30, yes i am crazy but it beats fighting traffic during the day. So anyways i got in, passed out... and got a rude awaken yet again at 10:00am, a call from my work saying my license expires tommorrow and I need to get it renewed. Well F#$!@ I in Boca, I have to take a 16 hr course before I can do that, and I have doctor appointments and crap all this trip already planned so I spent the next 3 hrs frantically searching for training places, and manuevering schedules, until i beleive I fixed it all. I just managed to get my job back and pseudo moved back up to Orlando, when all this BS starts up again, and almost screwed that all up.
I swear everything I have is because I broke my back, and put in sweat, blood, and tears into just to scrape by, and I get this stupid BS coming around... When will I ever get a good call, or in other words things that will go my way without all the back breaking effort.
It is sad, like I have posted before, all my effort and everything I have accomplished feels like I have gone nowhere, until I see something come back in return in my hands, not just some promises and waning hope, I dont think I will truely be happy. I will admit sometimes, when I am out with my friends when I get the chance to I feel really good around them, but I feel I am putting on a mask (smiling when I am not really happy) because I dont want to kill those good moments, but I guess thats depression for you.
I dont want to be that way... I did that cherade 8 years ago and I dont want to go through that ever again. I do have happiness dont get me wrong, but I am starting to lose my faith (not in a religious sense). I am starting to lose my mild passiveness and my large optomistism and I afraid what I will be when it is gone. I know I have a lot a people there for me in my life, but I have always felt that you need to always be self-reliant that I will be a good tool in your future and I have always tried to live that way (while not trying to shut anyone out), and I guess my question is "Where does that leave you when you fail yourself"
- Location:In-laws home
- Music:n/a
- Crap Load of Clothes
- Shirts
- pants
- shorts
- socks
- boxers
- dress clothes
- belt
- suit
- Jacket for cold-weather at night
- Toiletries
- Entertainment
- Xbox 360
- Nofriendo DS
- Laptop w/ games from storage
- starcrack
- heroes
- Half-Life2
- Civilization
- Borrow Anime from friends
- Get a hold of Heroes Season 2
- Grab a bunch of unwatched Movies from Alyssa's Library
- MP3 player
- Bowling Ball
- Larp costume stuff
- Book i have almost completed - need suggestions on new books (thinking Elric Series)
- ...
- Location:Work
- Music:Cut Power to the Machine playing crappy jazz music in the lobby
So my choices of rejection are as followed:
1) I call up the State Correction facility I applied to and interviewed at and see if I am still in the process (did awsome on the first interview and only ok on the second).
It went awsome!!!! I called up, the recruiter sounded thrilled hearing from me again and said they were just talking about me and getting some of my papper work back, I asked them if there was anything else they needed and he said no. I also told him that I was worried about the 2nd interview and he shrugged, he said I did really well. ok ok... no getting hopes up just yet, but that was a huge leap in this process, b/c I am pretty sure nothing else can get in the way!!!!
2) I call up the Florida Highway Patrol and schedule the eye and physical doctor appointments. In which I prepare to be rejected for being color vision difficent...
Unfortunately I am currently playing phone tag with this recruiter for FHP and it seems like I will not be getting anywhere this week with that.
Yay I always love dissapointment day... I should get it over with already. This would be the great time for Liquid Courage! but nope at work... and not even work TEMP.
Well it looks like I may have a few more days at this nice cozy temp job at least from what I am getting at. Then I got a possible suprise job (dont ask, its a suprise for some folks)
- Location:Work
- Mood:
giddy - Music:Same crappy jazz music in the background
I am back yet again waiting for "thee" phone call, I can not go into more details because I do not want to get hopes up, especially my own. As well as if it does go well, it means both good and bad things, more so good though.
I also have to get a backbone and make another call, same sort of topic, just not in the mood to set myself up for dissapointment. Sorry for being vague, but again dont want getting hopes up.
Now I am sitting here at work, still wondering what possessed me to get out of bed and go to work, while still feeling like ___ , you can fill in the blanks. I may just call it a half-day, I still feel like I did not get enough sleep last night even though I actually slept pretty thourghly, without waking up in the middle of the night and waking after the alarm clock. Im am not drained, just still very sleepy which means I am getting better.
~B
- Location:Work
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:Same crappy jazz music in the background
(and In no specific order)
1) Write up new Lost: VSS.
2.) Make, arrange, confirm plans to go to FgotM.
3.) Update character sheets, organize props and costuming.
4.) Prepare things for First Lost game at a new Site in two weeks.
5.) After getting VST confirmation send out mass email about "Introduction" and what is expected of players and myself.
6.) Go Food Shopping.
7.) Pick up enstranged child and babysit.8.) Make to-do-list
9.) Fix brake-tail lights on car and Rain-X the windows.10.) Write up summary Avst Requiem report.
- Location:Work
- Mood:
bored - Music:Same crappy jazz music in the background
For example I could be about to get into my car and a have been singing a tune in my head and happen to start the car flip the channels and that song would begin to play (No I am not an AM/FM reciever). Anyone who has really gotten to know me, knows that it really does happen I finish sentences, say exactly what people were thinking way to often, show up at their doorstep just as they call to see what I am up to, and always arrive just on time (or when the best time to show is).
But what sparked this was just the day before yesterday, a few of my older friends (some back from highschool) popped into my head and I had that moment of nastalgia and wonder of how they were doing or man we have not talked in months. What happens... the very next day, literally one after the other each of them contact me wanting to chat or hang out in the near future.
Effing weird! Now if only numbers would pop in my mind.. eff friends :)
- Location:Work
- Mood:
nostalgic - Music:God awful repetative lobby music
I have been doing way too much waiting as of late.
1.) Waiting to hear from BSO (Broward Sheriff's Office) if I have a job with them or not.
2.) Waiting to hear from FHP whether I passed their weird @$$ polygraph examination (dont ask!)
3.) I am so bored at work I cannot wait to hear from friends who email me or post so I can pseudo-chat.
4.) I can not wait to see if I lose to the paper cup in the VST: Lost elections here in Ft. Lauderdale.
5.) I can't wait until FGotM in Gainesville to see everyone, plus they are going all out so it will be nice to see.
6.) Can't wait until this week is over, but I will probably be bored over the weekend as well... so not really knowing why I am waiting for that.
7.) I definetly can not wait until I get out of my In-Laws house (no offense to them, greatful for taking us in)
8.) I can not wait to have my own house.
9.) I guess overall I just can not wait until the next step of my life kicks in... Career, house, and kids (well maybe a little longer on kids)
I guess the point is I graduated with my B.S. back in December and I am in the middle of that tough phase that most go through in between nothing and getting a serious job that pays an actual livable salary, and I have never been so stressed in my life before (I can honestly say that). I used to go to school full time (4-5 classes a semester) while full-time at work (40-60 hrs./week) had my own pseudo-home, and took care of my wife. And after all of that I still made time for my friends and have a life, and can say I was content. Now I have no school, a 40hr/week (that atleast pays more), and a wife and dog living in a very small single bedroom in my In-Laws house, not to mention the sever allergies I have had b/c of the 4 animals, a constant in house smoker, mold, and tight spaces with almost no fresh air circulation (I really feel Lethargic somedays, love Allegra though mild fixer).
~B
- Location:Work
- Mood:
anxious - Music:Same crappy jazz music in the background
But I am surviving or floating whatever people call it and thats what matters I suppose.
- Location:In-Laws Home
- Mood:
indifferent
But I did tell people if I did post something about B$#%ing it would be something atleast mildly funny. Like for instance, How come people do not think clearly about when I tell them I have a color vision difficiency. 99% of the people I tell always do the same think and say "Your color blind... Really? What color is this?" It was amusing maybe the first 2 times but after the hundreth person does that to you, it gets you thinking of how rude it really is to ask something like that. You dont see me going up to people and going "Wow your blind... Really? How many fingers am I holding up? Nooo... you dont see that!
Anyways, there... I ranted about something. Atleast I can defend myself and say this is not Myspace inwhich people show off how cool they can copy and paste other peoples code and type in some backward ass slang like this is G'Dwg's tricked out website for all my hunez and play some rediculous song that people immediately turn off. Not my thing, also this keeps people informed of things going on and me of possible better things to do when I suprise visit people.
- Location:Work
- Mood:dorky
- Music:Crappy Jazz in the background
